I will be checking into the hospital at roughly 1pm on Monday. There’s some pre-op stuff, and then I’ll be under and getting air poofed into my belly like a blowfish. My DH will get to see me for a little bit that evening once I’m awake from anesthesia, and then I’ll be sleeping at the hospital for observation that night. I’ll be on an IV of pain meds throughout the evening. I will also get the fun task of rating my pain on the 1-10 scale. To steal from a comedian whose name I don’t recall, I hear that breaking your femur is the worst pain you can experience, so I don’t want to say 10…and then there’s giving birth, so you don’t want to say 9…maybe an 8? We’ll see.

A nurse from Lake Forest called to go over everything and take down my relevant medical info (e.g., special dietary needs, do I snore). She said that I’ll be sore, but that there’s a special pain that I might get. Because they poof me up like a blowfish, they have to aspirate out all that air. (Aspirate is a fancy word for suck, by the way, and “aspirate out” may be a redundancy…I’m not sure. At any rate, I plan to start saying that things aspirate mightily, as needed.) It is possible that some air will get left behind and will migrate for awhile around my organs before escaping. This can lead to (as she put it) frightening pain in the chest region. So, if I feel that, I’m supposed to call a nurse immediately and have them dope me up so that I don’t feel it anymore. Apparently, it doesn’t happen all that often, but when it does, patients can panic and hurt themselves because they don’t know what it is.

I’m scared, by the way, but I’m suppressing it. I know that Monday morning, I may be a bit of a wreck. I cried the night before I went to get my teeth out for braces, but not before I got my wisdom teeth out. The braces teeth were more scary because I wasn’t going under for that, and I was afraid I’d feel it or be traumatized. Also, the braces teeth were right up front where everyone could see, so if something went wrong, it was going to be very obvious.

Aside: Grilled chicken breast with mesquite seasoning on cinnamon raisin bread is yummy.

My DH is taking Monday afternoon and Tuesday all day off to hang out with me. I’ve heard from quite a few folks who have had this surgery, and they’ve all said that by the day after going home, I’ll be close to normal, except feeling like I did too many sit-ups. I hope it is that simple and that I heal well.

I got my work project in a good place, so that’s happy. There’s also folks set up to fill in for me while I’m out. I shouldn’t end up having to think about work until I’m ready, which is a good thing. It seems a bit like making a mountain out of a molehill with all the prep I’ve done.

Things to do in the house this weekend:

• Do and put away ALL laundry: I mean it. All of it. Sheets, everything.
• Bring my “travel kit” downstairs (toothbrush, hairbrush, etc.) in case I can’t manage the stairs on Tuesday
• Clean litter.
• Return key to catsitter: long story, but one worth telling.
• Make pudding (I have milk I need to use up)
• Put out sheets on Monday for the cleaning service, which kindly rescheduled from Tuesday to Monday for me so that, if I can make it to bed, the bed is clean and nice. Put check out, too.