Fear is the mind killer

When I saw my doc last week, he mentioned that it was possible that I was having a gall bladder issue (blockage or swelling). He said that was unlikely but that if I started having pain in my abdomen on the right side, vomiting, fever, or bruising, that might be the problem, which would necessitate an ultrasound and possibly an emergency room visit, since the gall bladder can burst and so on.

Well, this morning as I was coming downstairs, I noticed a pain in my right side when I inhaled. I’ve had that kind of pain before, a few years back, and it was just a muscle spasm/strain. Given that I’ve been sneezing several times a day lately, it seemed reasonable that it might just be a strain. I went to work, albeit with some difficulty, and I stayed for most of the day. It only hurt when I inhaled deeply, sneezed, or yawned, and that seemed consistent with a muscle problem. It didn’t hurt at all if I sat still and just breathed normally. By the afternoon though, it started feeling a bit achy, and I was noticing that if I stretched, it hurt. That still seemed like a muscle thing, though. I figured I’d go home, where I have drugs of the pain-relieving and muscle-relaxing variety, and see if I could make it better.

I left work around 3pm and headed home. At home, I took a leftover lortab (from last year when I had my extractions for braces) and curled up on the couch with Eureka (season 2) on my computer. I really enjoyed Eureka season 1, but what happened was that I missed the start of season 2, and due to a little trick they pulled, I thought I’d missed a good bit of season 2 instead of just the season opener. I didn’t realize until much later that I’d been fooled by a trick that was similar in nature to the introduction of Dawn into the Buffy series. By that point, I had stopped tivo-ing it out of frustration, so I gave up on it. Enter Amazon Unbox, my new bestest friend. 🙂 I was scanning the Unbox library last week and came across Eureka, so I decided to try it out again. I’m hooked. But, I digress…

Laying on the couch and under the influence of meds, it seemed to get better. I ordered pizza and ate a couple of slices. Then, I dozed off at one point, until the Democrats called to ask about Scott volunteering, and I sleepily told them he was busy this weekend. (His parents are coming into town.) Then, they called again about ten minutes later to ask about me volunteering. ::sigh:: So, I told them that I, too, was busy, and could they please make a note that we’re at the same number and they only need to call once? And then, about fifteen minutes later, Scott called to check on me before he headed into the casino, and I sleepily told him that I was napping and that I think I’m okay. I also remembered I was supposed to call my dad, so I texted him to let him know I wasn’t feeling well and would call him tomorrow.

Well, after that bit of stunted napping, I decided I was done napping, and I sat up, only to be greeted by a sharp shooting pain that went away after a second. Ouch. I did a deep inhale to test, and the pain was worse than I remembered it. I got up to walk to the bathroom, and it started aching and didn’t go away, but would do the sharp shooting pain if I coughed, inhaled deeply, or pressed the general area.

Not a good sign. 🙁

I started doing some checking, and the area also seemed feverish, although that’s hard to tell, because I did just wake up, and I So, I called my doctor’s answering service and left a descriptive message asking for a call back as to whether I should go to the emergency room or just get an ultrasound tomorrow or stop being a hypochondriac or what. He called back a little while ago. He’s also worried, but he said that if I’m not feverish (me, not the area) and not vomiting, and it’s not so bad that I can’t stand it, I can just wait and do the ultrasound tomorrow morning first thing. We made arrangements for that, at the same imaging center where I had my knee MRI done earlier this year.

I’m more than a little scared right now. I feel better, having talked to my doc. (And, of course, I kept Scott in the loop for all of this, too. He’s in Milwaukee, and given things as they are, I see no reason for him to need to come back home.) But, I’m still just generally scared. I’d like to think that this is nothing, but it sure feels like *something*. I don’t know what it feels like to have an organ burst, and I’d rather not find out, all things considered.

Time to escape to Eureka…

1 thought on “Fear is the mind killer”

  1. so, you ok today? – it’s lunchtime for me on WED.

    (i know EXACTLY the kind of pain you are describing….that’s the “all-in-my-head” that I had the CT scan for in February. i too believe it to be my gall bladder, but what can you do with a “specialist” (butthead) tells you its nothing)

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