I’ve been awake since 4:15amCT. I’ve been in meetings or on phone calls for work almost non-stop since my flight landed in NJ at 9:30amET. It’s now 9:30pmET. So, I’ve had a solid 16 hour day. I have work I need to do, but I’m bloody tired. I ordered room service for dinner because I haven’t had time to go out, and at this point, I just want to take my shoes off and rest. You see, I have this tendency to pace around when I’m on phone calls for work, which means I’ve also been on my feet for about four hours (since I got back to my hotel), and I kept my shoes on the whole time because I kept hoping I’d have time to go out and get dinner.
Total calories consumed today so far: 700. Yep, 700 calories since 4:15amCT. No wonder I feel exhausted. I don’t intentionally starve myself, but it happens alot just because things are too hectic to eat. On days like this, when I have to get up early, my stomach gets upset, and I have trouble eating breakfast. So, that starts a vicious cycle. Oh, and by the way, those 700 calories were a half meal bar this morning (110), a small cup of regular pepsi around 3pm because that was the only liquid beverage available (estimating 80), the rest of the meal bar (110), and two chocolate pop-tarts that I snagged from the hotel’s courtesy snack area (400). Real healthy, right?
My dad pointed out to me last night that almost everything I’m saying about my work indicates that I’m on the edge of a breakdown. I don’t really know what to do about it. I’m taking things one day at a time. So much of my self image is tied up in my work…and I let it get to me far more than I should, too. So, like right now, most people would be like “enough!” (see subject line), but I’m sitting here feeling guilty for taking time to do a personal vent when I have more things for work that I could be doing. I feel guilty for taking a vacation this weekend. (I’m taking 2.5 days off. The half day is for a dentist appointment that I cancelled due to getting pulled into a work meeting that I wasn’t expecting to have to do. I feel really crappy about that appointment, too. I didn’t realize I had it, and I cancelled at the last minute, and they full on should be billing me for it anyways, but they won’t because they’re my friends. So I feel like crap.)
I’ve now been sucked into IRC by a gal I met on the GenCon boards. Wheee…. 🙂