Awake, barely

I had a really hard time getting to sleep last night. Around 10:30 or so, we went upstairs and put Ocean’s 12 into the DVD player. It wasn’t amusing enough to keep my mind off of things though. I needed mindless escape, and it was just…crazy…in alot of ways. So, we stopped it about halfway through and switched to some tivo-ed episodes of Family Guy. That did the trick, and I started nodding off. But then, when the lights went out, it was hard to sleep. My mind is really mean to me at times like this; I’ve never understood why. Anyways, I was really hot, and I tossed and turned and thought horrible thoughts until about 1:30am, when I made up my mind to turn on the fan even though it meant waking Scott up. It was storming, too, and the noise of the storm kept waking me. I drifted off at some point later. I had strange dreams, where looking at pictures of Maggie brought her back. Except that I was freaking out because I knew she shouldn’t be back, and it felt like a horror movie plot.

I’m on a work meeting now, working from home. I realized during the night that I left Maggie’s carrier at the emergency center. They called this morning and apologized for disturbing me but that they wanted to let me know I could pick it up whenever I wanted, that they’d hold it for me as long as I needed. It’s one of many things I have that is so coated with Maggie-ness that I can’t imagine being able to use it again, if we ever get another cat. I’d rather just get a different one then. Plus, it’s pretty beat up. I’ll pick it up when I come home from work tomorrow.