Not good

So, at first they thought Maggie had something stuck inside her. That happens to cats…they don’t restrict themselves to eating things they’re supposed to eat. My vet sent me to the emergency clinic because they weren’t staffed to do surgery. The emergency clinic looked at the X-rays and said that as much as the history and what I’m describing sounds like an obstruction, the X-rays aren’t showing anything that seems like an obstruction. What the X-rays are showing are two shadows that look like tumors…one near her esophagus (that might be causing the vomiting, because it’s putting pressure on it) and one near her heart. I felt like I had a doomsayer vet, because he seemed to jump to this conclusion pretty damn fast…but I don’t know. Anyways, he said he’s less worried about the vomiting and more worried about the tumors. Me, i’m more worried about the vomiting. If she can’t eat, she doesn’t live. I know the priority order of this sort of thing!

They want to do an ultrasound on her on Monday to get a better view of what’s inside. They said they could keep her and probably get it done by tomorrow noontime (they had a ton of people come in while I was there…many pets in much worse shape than Maggie), but I decided I wanted to bring her home, try to feed her, see what happens. Maybe I’m in denial, but I think it’s just a stomach bug or something she ate…like maybe something bad got into her food. So I want to try to feed her. If she goes back to eating normally after having spent a good part of today on an IV being pumped with fluids and antibiotics, I don’t think I want to know what’s going on with the shadows. If they’re really cancer, there’s nothing I can do anyways. It’ll just hurt to know that it’s there. If it’s not cancer, it’s a ton of worry and money spent on nothing.

I don’t know what to do. I cry whenever I try to talk about it. Somehow writing it in here was easier than calling any of the people who I know read this.